It's not even like herding cats. Those don't talk back.

If we really need more playtime we can just drop the framerate...

You're not going to quote me on the website, are you?

So what kind of pasta is the code this time? Rigatoni? Linguini?

Hey! This isn't a random quote; I'm stuck in the website! Help me!

Game? Oh god was that the game?

We have to re-sign. Our designer signed as 'lead accident in progress'. Again.

If he tells me it needs more ‘zest’ one more time I might actually get violent.

Look, lootboxes are just capitalism's will

That was the worst thing I've ever played and I loved every second of it.

Well that was a terrible idea. Please tell me you recorded that.

Pain is fuel for the Journey.

How inebriated do we anticipate the average player being?

That's fine, my sleeping bag is still here from last crunch.

Honestly, I give up. It's a feature now

I mean we want the players to experience emotion, right? Hate is a super easy emotion.

We need to talk about the smell coming from QA. It was funny before but now I'm getting concerned.

At least now it compiles.

So the date defaults to the word 'today'. Bad.

I thought you fed the testers earlier? Wait was that my job?

With enough ducktape we can fix this code and never look at it again.

The error code was in Russian. One of the ones we programmed was in Russian.

Good news is that we have the assets. Bad news is that I wasn't joking about it being on an actual floppy disk.

I can't believe people pay me to make them mad.

Uh... so what's with all the cats in the office today?

New rule. Nobody from the marketing department is allowed to push changes. Ever.

This art isn't lazy, it's... stylized.

Are we sure the errors aren't a sign it's working?

...why does our main character look like genitalia?

Technically, anything can be art as long as you don't explain it well.

Can one of my quotes be on the website?

Hey, so remember our git repository? Have I got a story for you.

So are we going to put our real names, or are we just too ashamed of whatever this has become?

Bugs are features and bad art is a metaphor. That's the way the world works.

How about instead of an ending, the player just dies.

The difference between a bug and feature is just a matter of perspective, really.

Oh my god it's on fire. It's actually on fire. How did you even do that?

So uh... are we getting paid for this?

I know we can't publish this as is, but on the bright side we've definitely created a new form of torture.

It's all fun and games till you get to crunch time

We didn't make a game. We made a mistake.

Next time you bring a programmer to a meeting with the client, make sure they're on a leash